


To Build A Home

by fangirl0verboard



Category: The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Cheating, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Hate Sex, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love, Love/Hate, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Nice Negan (Walking Dead), Oral Sex, Pain, Parent Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Rough Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 08:02:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10658358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl0verboard/pseuds/fangirl0verboard
Summary: Riley has been with the Saviors for around a year and developed a special relationship with their leader. She finds out something that will change their lives completely, holds it secret and in her panic of not knowing what to do, she makes a foolish decision after a bad night with Negan. Can there ever be a way for her to make things right by everyone hurt through her actions?Some elements of TV show canon but mostly fic. Protective, angry, jealous and also sensitive Negan included.





	1. I will let you down

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this doesn't read like an Eastenders script, This was going to be a one shot but I couldn't stop myself.
> 
> There are going to be several chapters and they will alternative between memories, flashbacks and realtime.
> 
> If you like it please comment and shit like that, I don't carry on writing if I don't think anyone is reading or enjoying it!

Riley had found the Saviours on her own.

No matter how much Negan tried to twist the story, she would always remember how they came to meet. Of course, Negan had insisted to her that she wasn’t tell anyone how she found him that day. He wandered from his men a distance to piss behind a near collapsed shed, before kicking the rotted wooden boards in some kind of bent rage. From her place in the bushes just feet away from this loud, intimidating man she had hidden from in panic, she watched as five dead arms curled around his legs. She held in her breath, as the man cursed and fell to the ground, dropping a baseball bat hugged by barbed wire a few feet from his grip. As the groans got louder and his grunting as he fumbled for the gun strapped to his waist became more frantic, she leaped from her hiding place and gripped the bat firmly with two hands. She wound it up over her right shoulder before bringing it down as hard as she could across the joints of dead elbows, blood spraying up her torso and coating the bat, she brought it down another three times before he could shuffle away.

Panting and in shock, he studied her, the girl who had probably just saved his skin. She dropped the bat at his feet, and took two steps back.

She remembered his first words to her, they rang in her ears as clearly as he had said them that afternoon, “Hell if I didn’t think I could ever fall in love again, and here you fuckin’ are, saving my stupid, sorry ass.”

Her memory of him from just over a year ago did not make the present any easier. Tears cascaded down her cheeks and fell hard into her lap, her dirty blonde hair soaking from the rain falling around her shoulders as she watched the two men in front of her fighting, she blamed herself entirely. Negan reached for the baseball bat that Riley came to know as Lucille from his belt, but he stumbled as the other man slammed into him, his shoulder impacted Negan’s chest and Lucille fell from his fingers, rolling towards Riley. Negan saw her eyes lock on to the bat, “Riley, get away from it, don’t you fuckin’ _dare_!” he boomed, Riley dived face first over the bat. Her intention was shielding it from him with her body, the wire dug into her as she made contact with the wet, muddy ground.

Large hands closed around her arms and began to pull at her, “Riley, this isn’t your fight. I’m not going to say it’s not your fault because it fuckin’ is, but it sure as shit isn’t your fight.” Negan grunted as she resisted his efforts, collapsing herself into a deadweight over the weapon, this worked for a second until the ground moved from under her and she was dragged to her knees. Riley looked into Negan’s eyes, her own eyes begging for him to stop before she turned her attention to the man catching his breath a few metres away from them.

He had both hands on his knees and he was drawing in deep breaths. He looked up and made eye contact with her, she could tell that his nose was broken, blood ran down his face like veins spilling down onto his shirt. Riley’s eyes filled up again with tears as Negan took hold of the bat and pulled it from underneath her, sighing as he registered her fear.

“I don’t want to do this, Riley. You and him fuckin’ made me.” His voice drawled out, low and angry.

“Negan,” Riley cried, “I fucked up, I know I did, I’m sorry. Please believe me, please, I’m sorry. Don’t hurt him.”

“Baby,” Negan laughed unapologetically and hissed, “You don’t hurt someone that you care about, you _know_ that, and look at what _you_ did! _You fucked him_.” Negan’s face drew close to Riley’s own, she closed her eyes in fear of what might happen next.

“Only after _you_ told her to get the fuck out, Negan! This is no one’s fault but _your own_ , you only have yourself to blame.” Her eyes snapped open as he spoke, Negan’s face morphed into a series of snarls, he grit his teeth as a fresh wave of anger washed over him.

Negan stood up tall and turned to face the man in front of him, who until a few hours ago had been the closest thing he had to a best friend. Riley reached out to grab Negan’s hand, he hesitated for a second before he shook her off.

“ _You_ think that you have a right to talk to me like that?” Negan roared, “ _You_ think that after fucking my woman, you can talk to me like it was _my fuckin’ fault_ you slipped your dick inside her? Riley, say goodbye to Simon…”

“Negan… please.” Riley pushed herself up and rounded on Negan, standing in front of him, placing her hands on his wrists and squeezing them like she thought it would make a difference as she pushed him back to stop him advancing on Simon.

“You hurt her Negan, just look at her for Christ sake, just look at her.” Simon finally stood up straight and rubbed his face on his sleeve, smearing blood over the shirt he was wearing. Riley looked back over her shoulder at him, not knowing what to do next to stop what she had started.

“DON’T fuckin’ look at him, Riley.” Negan ordered, not breaking his stare away from Simon. As Riley turned to face Negan again she buried her head in his chest as her body shook from crying.

Since arriving at the Sanctuary, Riley had pretty much always been Negan’s. She changed something in him, Simon had joked with her that he never thought Negan would meet a woman he’d give up women for. Riley didn’t want to be one of Negan’s wives, and told him she’d rather shoot dead ones and fuck him without having to mingle with or be reminded that those other women existed. He obliged and he let Riley work with Simon. Negan spent nights alone with Riley that quickly increased in number until the day he finally decided that he didn’t have an interest in them anymore. Riley didn’t believe him at first, and worried that he wouldn’t be able to help himself from returning to them, but Negan kept his promise.

 When she first confessed to Negan that she loved him, he laughed and said he’d been waiting for her to say that since the day he first met her. He gloated that he’d said it first, and then he had kissed her and touched her, and made her feel things that no one else had managed to make her feel; but he was still unpredictable. His anger was the exact reason why Riley was crying in the rain stood in between the man she loved and his closest friend, trying to stop them from killing one another.

Riley could feel Negan’s heart rate slowing down as his chest beat against her face, the sound resonating in her mind and soothing her in a way.

“Why Riley? Why did you do it?” Negan finally asked, up until this point not caring for an explanation from either her or Simon, just wanting to hurt someone for it.

“We argued. You told me that you didn’t love me and that you didn’t want me, you told me you’d get your wives back and fuck them instead, and you told me to get the fuck out of your sight.” Riley pulled back from Negan’s chest and spoke, her eyebrows furrowed in anger and sadness.

“You know for a fact that I didn’t mean that. You know.” Negan spoke quickly, clearly regretting what he had said to her the night before, but still angry.

“We were drinking and I was hurt, and I drank more, and then it happened. This is the only time, I swear to you, I’m not proud and nor is he.” Riley pleaded with him.

“Having an argument and being fuckin’ drunk doesn’t give you _permission_ to fuck someone else.” Negan spat.

“Tell him, Riley.” Simon spoke up, and Riley cringed, hoping that he wouldn’t, “Tell him what you told me last night.”

“What the fuck is this? What the _fuck_ are you two keeping from me? What don’t I know here, because enlightening me right about now would be the smart thing to do.” Negan pushed Riley back gently and placed a hand on her chin, directing her to look into his deep brown eyes. He frowned impatiently, his beard carrying droplets of water down his face from the rain.

“Negan…” Riley began to well up again, she sobbed and her words formed through stuttering, “Negan, I’m pregnant.”


	2. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is short, I wanted to update it but my boyfriend wanted to get ice cream - so we had to compromise on time. I'm still working on this, and I hope you enjoy :)

“Riley, you don’t get to have a say in the way I carry out punishments against my own people. If I think they deserve what I do to them then you needn’t ask fuckin’ questions about it.” Negan sloshed whiskey around in a highball glass, speaking matter-of-factly, and pulling the bottle of amber liquor across the table away from Riley’s grasp, “You’ve had enough, you should go to bed.”

“But you _threw_ the only doctor we have into a fire and you burned him alive, that isn’t punishment, that’s way beyond punishment. We _need_ a doctor here, Negan!” Riley had stood and watched on in horror earlier that afternoon, as the man she loved incinerated a man she had got to know well since arriving at the Sanctuary. It was without a doubt the worst thing she had seen him do so far, as she felt sick that he would class that as a punishment. Despite all the love she held for him, this had gone beyond, and she needed Doctor Carson for reasons she was too afraid to reveal to Negan – part of her had hoped that she would never need to tell him. She pulled the bottle of whiskey back toward her, and poured more into her not yet empty glass before taking a large swill of the liquid into her mouth. She swallowed the hot liquid and grimaced at its taste.

“I’ll get the other one, you know he has a brother at Hilltop, right? Why does it fucking matter anyway? He did something wrong, he got punished, now he’s dead. You fuck up you get punished, that was his, end of story Riley. Stop being a bitch about it.” Negan sighed.

“A _bitch_? Are you fucking kidding me? _I’m_ a bitch because I don’t approve that you killed a man for something petty? You’re throwing your toys out of the pram and showing off to all these assholes that lick your balls clean all day long, just to scare them, and _I’m the bitch_? You’re their bitch for having to play it up to them all day long, show just once speck of emotion and you’re fucked because you look weak – that’s the way you’ve always been.” Riley bit back at Negan harder than she had ever done before, his temper was a force to be reckoned with and giving up was her usual stance, but tonight she had lost something important – and she had drank a lot of liquor to compensate for it.

Negan stood up quickly, slamming his hand down on the table that separated him from Riley causing her to jump, “SAY THAT AGAIN, RILEY. _SAY IT,_ I FUCKIN’ DARE YOU.”

“You look weak and you act up to hide it, you’re a showman. Are you sure you taught gym, not theatre?” Riley sassed. She had officially pushed it over the edge, and Negan’s rage was about to erupt harder that it had ever done before.

Lucille was propped up against the side of his chair, he curled his fingers around her wooden handle and swept her hard across the table, throwing the bottle, glasses and other contents of the table across the room. Riley pushed herself back in her chair, in fear, not in shock. She had kindled this, she pushed his buttons too hard, he made his way around to her chair and pulled her up by the arm, forcing her to drop the glass in her hand.

“Negan! You’re hurting me!” She yelped.

“I’ll do more than fuckin’ hurt you, Riley. You think this is how you can treat me then fine. I want you to get out. Get the fuckin’ fuck out of my sight and don’t bother coming back in here. I don’t need you, I don’t love you – hell I could get my wives back here in a fuckin’ second and you’d be dead to me.” Negan hissed, his grip on her arm not loosening up. Riley’s eyes widened and her face sunk, her heart flew into her mouth and her gut felt like it had been sucker punched.

“You… you what?” She whispered, barely feeling pain in her arm anymore.

“I don’t love you. Get. Out.” Negan sat through gritted teeth, and pushed Riley away from him, toward the door. She screwed up her face from trying to stop tears breaking through and ran through the door behind her, her heart beating out of her chest as her bare feet kissed the cold hard concrete underneath her.

There was only one place she could go to find comfort.  
  
\----

“What did you say? Riley, what did you just say?” Negan’s voice changed in an instant, it reduced to barely a whisper.

“I’m pregnant, about three months pregnant.” Riley sniffed through tears as the rain continued to fall around them.

“Fuck. Why didn’t you tell me Riley?” Negan’s shellshock threw him off course, and in a second it was like he had forgotten what he was in the middle of.

“I was trying to… to stop it,” Riley stuttered, “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t think you’d need to know if I was going to terminate it.”

“That’s why you’ve been drinking so much.” Negan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes tightly in frustration.

“I didn’t think you would have wanted –“

“Shut up. Don’t even say it Riley. Don’t even say it. This is why you wanted the doctor.” Negan breathed out hard, “Did… did you get a, uh…” He waved his hand in a circular motion over her stomach.

“Scan? I did. There’s a machine here, in the infirmary.”

“Can I fuckin’ see _my_ baby? It is mine after all, right?” Riley looked into Negan’s suddenly glazed eyes, and for the first time since she met him, she saw desperation.

“It is yours, I promise.” She gripped his hand tightly, reciprocating her own desperation in that moment, and hoping that the fighting was over, “I don’t know how to use the machine.”

“Well, we can figure that out. It can’t be all that difficult. We have a lot to talk about anyway, so if it takes all fuckin’ night it won’t matter…” Negan turned his attention to Simon again, “Not only did you fuck my girlfriend, but you fucked my –“

“ _Negan!”_ Riley shushed him, cringing once more.

Negan sighed, “Simon, I want you to know something. I definitely was about to smash your fuckin’ skull open for what you both did and don’t for a second think you’ve gotten away with it – Riley wouldn’t have run to you if I hadn’t treated her the way I did last night and that is my damn fault. BUT if we did not have that argument and I did not catch you two the way I did, I probably would never have found out about this and Riley might have successfully gone through with a termination. I’ll deal with you later; I don’t want you leaving sanctuary until I have.”

Negan gently tugged Riley’s arm as he turned and walked her toward the Sanctuary doors, “Negan, I’m sorry.” She tied to stifle her sniffing, rubbing her face on her sleeve.

“I just can’t believe that you thought I’d reject my own fuckin’ flesh and blood, that I wouldn’t want my own child?” Negan gushed.

“Because you’re you, Negan, I didn’t want to make you look weak. I thought I could stop it.”

“Riley, the last thing having a child of my own would make me, is weak. You’ve never been so damn wrong about me. I love you, Riley.” And with that, Negan turned his head over his shoulder and looked at Simon, still standing out in the rain.


	3. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley seeks comfort from a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to hot up, I hope readers are liking this, it's flicking between events and I hope that's easy to understand!!! I <3 feedback :3

The soles of Riley’s feet slapped the cold concrete floor as she jogged through the dark Sanctuary hallways away from the room she shared with Negan, she could still hear his voice cursing her but the further away she got, the quieter it became.

The floor below was the floor that Simons room was on. Her fist pounded on his door and she was sure that she would have woken everyone else on that floor with her crying, remembering that it was getting late, she paused for a moment wondering if bothering Simon was the right thing to do.

“Fuck sake,” groaned the voice on the other side of the door as the lock clicked and slowly opened, “This better be – Riley?! Riley what is going on?” A seemingly tired Simon was suddenly shaken to life at the sight of his friend breaking down at his door. Riley stepped forward and he ushered her in, closing and locking the door behind him.

“God, you’re a mess, Riley. What is it?” He helped her to sit down on his couch. His room was small, cosy, and it smelled like musky man and cigarettes. Riley liked his room, because he had a lot of books, and from his window you could see the sun setting perfectly in the sky. She spent a lot of time with Simon when Negan was busy or when she was out on runs with him. Riley knew Negan had put them together on runs so that he could make sure she was safe, but they had formed a strong friendship and Simon would always bend an ear if she was having a hard time.

“Negan, he told me to get out, said he didn’t want me – didn’t love me. It’s my fault, I pushed his buttons.” Riley sobbed, trying to steady her breathing.

“Whoah, girl. Calm down, you pushed his buttons? How? Was it the doctor?” Simon kneeled to her level and rested a hand on her arm.

“Uh huh…” Riley nodded, “I told him I didn’t agree with it. I stupidly called him weak and said he was putting it all on to look tough –“

“Jesus Christ, Riley. You know that was a bad move, I know you don’t agree with some of the things he does but you know he’ll flip out when you question his judgement. God, and you’ve been drinking.” Simon groaned in frustration.

“What do I do?” She sniffed up her tears, looking to Simon with desperate eyes.

“I don’t know, Ry. I don’t have the answer. Leave him alone tonight, he obviously needs time to calm down right now. God why did you say that?” Simon was shaking his head with bewilderment, not understanding why Riley chose to run her mouth.

“You wouldn’t understand, Simon… Can I get a drink, please? I know you were sat in your bed, reading and drinking whiskey like you always do at night. Don’t let me stop you, I needed somewhere to go, just give me a drink and I’ll be quiet.” Riley composed herself enough to speak a whole sentence without tears.

“Jeez, haven’t you had enough...? God, alright, fucking don’t blame me for how you feel in the morning though alright?” He turned his back to collect a glass and fill it for Riley.

Riley sat with Simon in his bedroom where she found he wasn’t reading anything, rather he was watching nature documentary DVDs, they quietly watched together in between conversation. Occasionally they stopped talking to turn their attention to the antelope running away from the leopard on the screen. Placing bets on who the winner would be, loser would drink, winner would drink too.

“Do you think he meant it, Si? He said he could get his wives back and that I’d be dead to him in a heartbeat… do you think he really doesn’t love me?” Riley looked into her glass with sad eyes.

Simon sighed, “I don’t know. You’ve been together for what now? Like a year?”

“Eight months, ‘officially’. He ditched the wives after about four months.”

“Of course he did, I remember now – you’d come here whenever you saw him with one of them, angry, crying and needing a drink. You really care about him.” Simon smiled sympathetically.

“I do and I can’t help myself. Should I care?”

“Riley, I don’t think he means it –“

“Then why even say it? He can be so fucking cold sometimes; he just goes about everything the wrong way. I know you’re his closest friend, I know you follow all his orders but at least you have some sympathy towards other people.” She interrupted him, not wanting to know his take on her partners feelings.

“I’m sorry that I don’t have the answer, I really am. Whatever happens now, you have to put this night behind you.” Simon stood up and turned off the television set at the mains, leaving his bedside lamp to light the room, “I guess you don’t want to go back there tonight, huh?”

“I guess not. Do you have another blanket? There’s a perfectly good couch I can sleep on.” Riley shrugged and began to sit up.

“Nah, forget it Ry, sleep in here. I know it’s not your king-sized bed but it’ll be nicer for you.” Simon smiled and waved his arm in a gesture that told her not to worry.

“What if we share?” Riley’s suggestion caused Simon some confusion.

“Share…?” He pondered.

“Well, when I used to have sleepovers I’d share with my girlfriends all the time, didn’t mean we were inclined in that way.” Riley began to explain as she saw the perplexed look on his face.

“Are you calling me one of your ‘girlfriends’? I don’t know if you noticed but…” Simon pulled a face and pointed towards his crotch, Riley laughed for the first time that night.

“Are you sure? You have one?” She joked.

“Do you _want_ to see my balls as proof, or will you just take my word for it? I really would rather you take my word for it, if Negan found out I showed you my balls he’d be pissed.”

Riley paused for a second, a hurt look crept over her face and she shook her head gently, “No. No he wouldn’t be pissed. He doesn’t love me, remember?”

“Riley…” Simon sighed, regretting mentioning Negan after they had moved away from the subject. He moved back towards where she sat on the bed, and he shuffled onto the edge of the mattress next to her, “I’m sorry. If he did mean it, I really am sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Riley studied Simon for a moment, he had never been the most eye catching of people if only for his hairline and badly styled moustache, but his body made up for any flaws in his looks “You’ve let your beard grow in a little Si, it looks good.”

“Thank you for noticing,” Simon smiled. In what felt like one big blurry moment, Riley felt his lips collide with her own clumsily almost missing their mark. In that same second they pulled away again with haste, after giving her a brief taste of the whiskey on his breath, “Fuck, Riley. I’m so sorry.” Simon began to panic.

“Sorry that kiss was weak as fuck, or sorry that you… did it?” Riley tempted him, and after Simon considered his actions for a few seconds, he repeated the motion and kissed her harder and for longer. Their lips locked together and tongues explored furiously, their breath passing into one another, the smell of whiskey filling both sets of their lungs. Riley placed her hand gently against Simons face as she felt his hand slid to her torso, the weight of his kiss lowering her further back onto the bed. As they kissed, thoughts of the trouble they could get into for this flashed across their minds.

Riley peeled the shirt Simon was wearing from his body, pulling it between their kiss and pausing to look at him and running her fingers down his chest, she just wanted to feel something.

“Simon, I have to tell you something,” she traced her fingers down the centre of his chest before looking into his eyes, “I’m –“

“Don’t care.” Simon shook his head aggressively, not wanting to listen to what she had to say.

“- but –“

“Ry, no time to talk. Yes or no?”

“I… yes. Yes.” Riley nodded, even though her heart ached with uncertainty at whether she truly did want to or not.

Simon pulled her shirt off in haste and quickly reached his arm around her back, with an air of cockiness, he snapped the strap of her bra off without trying and let it fall forward revealing pert, peach breasts and hardened pink nipples.

“God fucking damn it,” he whispered hotly, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

He pushed himself onto his knees and unbuttoned his jeans hastily, not noticing Riley’s hesitation, he tugged at the leggings she was wearing and they slid off with ease pulling away her underwear at the same time. The erection in his own underwear pushed forward against the cotton fabric and he took Riley hand and gently placed it over the bulge. Riley’s body began to feel hot and prickly, a subconscious warning sign to her that what she was about to do was wrong, she ignored it. One swift pull and the elastic waistband of his underwear revealed his cock, glistening in anticipation.

Every moment of the encounter with Simon made Riley feel conflicted, and as Simon positioned himself above her and rubbed the head of his cock against her opening, she thought of all the times before where Negan had fucked her and then went to another woman no less than a day later. She tried to justify her actions as he thrust into her hard, making her moan as her walls tensed around his length, Negan’s painful words repeating over in her mind.

The alcohol flowing through them made the sex feel like it was going to last forever, Riley’s anxiety did not ease even with their bodies collapsing into one another, a strange feeling overtook her and she froze – but not through pleasure. A shadow cast itself across the room from outside the bedroom door. Quickly she slammed her hands onto Simons chest, jolting upright and looking at the doorway, where her worst fears were realised. Simon closed his eyes, bit his lip and held his breath.

Towering at the bedroom door, his presence filling the whole room, was Negan.


End file.
